The practice of tantric sex is barely known in our modern society, mainly because we are still far away to understand that sex is an important part of our lives, thanks to the conservative way of thought that saw it as a sin for centuries. Fortunately, this perception of sex has changed in the last decades, and now we can feel free to experience the wonderful journey of sensations and awareness that tantric sex brings to our lives.

So if you are still wondering what tantric sex is, in this article you will find all that you need to know to practice with your partner or by yourself this incredible tool to awake the connection of your mind, soul, and body.

What tantric sex is?

We can track the origins of tantric sex in ancient Hinduism, “tantric” derives from the Sanskrit, and it means “web” or “to weave energy”. The tantric sex as we know it in western society emerges from classical tantra, which is a spiritual practice that teaches how to reach awareness through the breathing and the consciousness sensation of the whole body, so in this way, you can be in the present moment.

In this sense, tantric sex in the western world is found in the field of “neotantra”, according to Lesli Grace, a certificated Tantra Educator, this current “has developed over the last 150 years and aims specifically at more fulfilling intimacy and connection, a deeper connection to one’s own body and emotions, healing trauma and blocks, and opening to greater states of orgasmic ecstasy”, as you can see tantric sex has many benefits when it comes to our mental and physical health.

Do you want to know how to start?

Prepare yourself

Whether you are going to do it by yourself or with your partner, you need to prepare your mind and your space, if you are familiar with yoga, you might have a clue, but if you are totally new in this world let’s see how can you do it.


Meditation is the best way to achieve the state of mind that will allow you to fully experience all the elements of tantric sex. Put yourself in a comfortable position, preferably sit cross-legged, and remain in silence while become aware of your breathing, you can meditate for around 10 minutes to let your thoughts organized and fade inside your head.


While you are doing tantric sex you need to feel comfortable, having the right temperature, candles, your partner’s and your favorites scents, the perfect music, and the cozy feeling will give you the best experience.

Feel with your partner

Now, it’s time to bring your partner in crime to this wonderful practice, I would recommend for you to talk first about the new things you want to try, so you can know if they feel comfortable with it. Remember that consent is always important when it comes to sexual encounters, and even most important, don’t forget that tantric sex does not always end in sex (penetration).

I know you might be a little confused right now, but yes, tantric sex focus mainly on how to reach ecstasy through sensations and awareness, to fully feel in the present moment the energy that flows between you and your lover, which creates that special connection that reaches your mind, soul and body.

Following this idea, the best way to start with this practice is by awake the sensations of your whole body and your partner’s, slowly, with the help of massages, oral, hugging, literally anything can be the perfect start, as long as you both feel comfortable and are in the present moment.

Annamarya Saccia, for heathline, states that is essential to remember:

  • Synchronize your breathing. You can try inhaling and exhaling together, or inhaling as your partner exhales.
  • Tell your partner what you like. When they touch and play with you, call out what you’re enjoying and ask them to continue. Have your partner do the same.
  • Set an intention for your practice. Whether it’s to have better sex or to strengthen your relationship, you and your partner should go into the session knowing what you both want out of it.

And of course, don’t forget to make eye contact, since as we all know the eyes are the mirror of the soul.

Feel yourself

It is also necessary to clarify that you can practice tantric sex on your own, and this is the perfect way to get to know better what you like and what you don’t. This is an incredible journey to know yourself better, to know what you like and what you don’t, so take some hours for yourself and feel your whole body while you connect with your soul and mind.

And as I said above, you don’t need to finish your session by cumming, you can even play with your climax point, which means that you can touch yourself until feel you are about to cum but stop in the very moment. This, in order to control better your sex energy, so you can save more for the final climax.

Some tips to go

Finally, to leave you with a complete basic guide, here are some tips that will help you in your first session of this wonderful practice, but always remember that there are professionals that can guide you through this journey.

  • Any position can be a tantric position: As long as you are aware of your senses, you can play with all the fun positions you know.
  • Being naked is optional: Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it, if you want to have clothes on, it doesn’t matter, it’s probably that you will take those off later on when you feel like it.
  • Add some toys, handcuffs, or feathers: If you feel that this would add more sensations to your session and both you and your partner feel comfortable with it, don’t miss out on this opportunity to feel in a new way.

If you want to learn more, find your guide or a book that can illustrate better for you this spiritual journey, where you can feel not only your partner’s body but its soul.

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